


Idols

by phantomhive3108



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: Decisions, F/M, Feels, Post-Break Up, Post-Trespasser, Spoilers, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-10 19:19:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12305949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantomhive3108/pseuds/phantomhive3108
Summary: My second DAFicswap Round 9 piece for the talented definitelyhalla. As requested, here is a scene where their Inquisitor, Eva, is reeling from the events of Trespasser and finds a friendly shoulder to try not to cry on.





	Idols

The flagstones disappeared below her feet as she wandered aimlessly. The thoughts tangled themselves in her mind in a never-ending loop, consuming her attention but never quite letting her focus on the problems she needed to figure out.

Eva stopped suddenly and groaned out loud in sheer frustration. She threw her head forward into her hands and paused.

She hadn’t thought anything of the action. She had expected her head to land in her hands in a vain symbol of defeat and yet…

She pulled her hand away and stared at the absent limb on the left side of her body and for a moment the thoughts inside her head quietened.

“Why?” She whispered the word to no one in particular.

Eva closed her eyes and straightened herself up with a deep breath. When they opened she found she had walked herself to the blacksmith’s outbuilding where Thom had taken up temporary residence.

The doors were wide open and as she approached she caught the familiar sound of a sharp blade shearing against wood echoing from within. She smiled as she found him leaning over a worktop, attention entirely focused on the carving in his hands.

She watched him for a while, enjoying seeing the intense concentration he applied to it, allowing him to work with such care. At first sight, he did not seem to be the sort of man who could take to such intricate work but after seeing him in action, it was hard to deny his softer side. Eva appreciated this most in him and felt grateful for his presence during the whirlwind of events this past year.

Before long, Thom became aware of the eyes upon him and looked up to find the elf standing in the doorway. His face broke into a smile.

“Eva. I didn’t see you there.”

She blushed slightly. “Sorry. I didn’t want to interrupt you. What are you making?”

Thom slipped the small carving into his back pocket. “Oh nothing. Just thought I’d try out some new techniques.” He took a step forward towards her. “Are you ok? You seem… troubled.”

Eva leaned in the doorway and dropped her head against the wood frame. “Honestly, Thom... I feel completely lost.”

“Ah… Understandable.”

Eva’s eyes drifted out to the sun-filled sky above them. The weather was at complete odds with her mood and she felt better in the shadow of the building.

“Would you like to talk about it?” Thom ventured.

Eva tore her attention away from the blue sky and smiled sadly at him. “I don’t know if it will help. I don’t think anything can help right now.”

“Well, if you ask me, you seem to take a lot of responsibility on your own shoulders. You should allow yourself some respite.”

“I don’t think I can do that.”

“Why not?”

“I’m the Inquisitor, am I not? It’s part of the job description.”

“I think even your closest advisors would agree you’ve gone above and beyond your call of duty. Surely you can afford yourself some rest? Or at least share the burden with your companions?”

“I can’t do that either, Thom. I appreciate the offer but this is my burden. No one else’s.” Her eyes drifted back outdoors where the gay weather continued to mock her torrent of emotions.

“If I may, Eva. I must disagree. You have no obligation to take on these decisions by yourself.” 

She pushed off of the doorframe and made her way into the barn. “I shouldn’t be the one making these decisions in the first place, Thom! But I’m expected to only because no one else can or more accurately, no one wants to.” Eva’s tone climbed as she allowed her emotions to push to the forefront. “No matter what happens, no matter how messed up things get, I’m apparently the only one who gets the privilege- nay the honour! - of making these bullshit decisions! I mean, seriously? Haven’t I given enough?”

She threw her arms forward in a gesture of exasperation, which was intended to remind her audience of her latest sacrifice. Thom dropped his eyes to the floor, unsure of how to respond.

She took a deep breath then and steadied herself. For a moment she had forgotten whom she was speaking to. In her mind’s eye she was standing before the Council finally speaking her mind.

Eva took a step back and collapsed onto a barrel behind her. Her one remaining hand came to cradle her forehead.

“Sorry… I didn’t mean to take it out on you. I just keep expecting to wake up from this night mare and for some reason I’m not and I…” Her fingers tangled themselves into her hair as her grip tightened. “I’m not waking up, Thom. Why am I not waking up from this?”

The tightness in her throat betrayed the tears that welled in her eyes behind the veil of hair that had come to hide her face.

Thom tentatively made his way over and settled on the barrel beside her. A hand lifted towards her shoulder but settled back down to the surface of the barrel he was perched on.

“I’m sorry…”

These small words were the only thing he could think of saying. He hated that he could not say something more useful, or constructive. He desperately wracked his brains for something more creative to say. Words that might alleviate her pain. But unlike many others, he knew everything that she had suffered. He knew how she lost her arm and who had been the one to commit the act. And despite all of that knowledge (or perhaps as a result of it), he could not find a way to comfort her.

He sat in silence as Eva used deep breaths to steady herself and push the tears away.

“I just don’t understand… I don’t understand. I believed in him…”

Thom’s stomach tightened as she spoke of him. A flash of anger prompted satisfying images of gripping the devil by the throat, images which he quickly dismissed. It was not Thom’s place to decide the traitor’s fate. But he sure as hell would do everything he could to help Eva get the closure she deserved.

Thom swallowed his jealous fury before speaking.

“I believe we were all fooled.”

She laughed a hollow laugh and looked up. “Not like I was. I just can’t believe what an idiot I was.”

She ran her fingers diagonally through her hair and restored her side parting.

“I mean I can’t even manage a normal personal life, how can I be expected to make a decision about the future of the Inquisition?”

“Well, first of all, I suppose I should point out that nothing you do is normal.”

Eva glanced to her right, where her companion sat. “Is that supposed to help?”

He shrugged. “I simply meant that you are an extraordinary person who does extraordinary things. A normal life wouldn’t suit you, nor would you enjoy it.”

She smiled and dropped her eyes to the dirt ground. “I guess you’re right. But times like this I really wish it wasn’t true.”

Thom watched her in silence once more. The sadness rolled off of her in waves. Her shoulders were hunched over and her smiles never reached her eyes like they used to. The soft lines of her face that were no longer covered in the familiar vallaslin, too often molded themselves into a frown.

“None of what’s happened to you is fair, Eva. If I could offer you the life you wished for, I would. But I cannot. So in place of this, I can only offer my support.”

Her small hand came to rest atop of his, and with this small movement she warmed his heart more than she could have ever anticipated.

“I know. And I thank you for that.” She sighed wearily. “I still have no clue what I’m going to do. I know the Council is waiting for me and I just have no idea if I can even make this decision…” Eva looked up and met his eyes properly for the first time. “What should I do?”

Thom hesitated before reaching into his back pocket and drew out the figure he had been carving upon her arrival.

“I wasn’t going to share this with you until it was finished but… Here. Take a look.”

He handed her an elaborate looking object.

It was a small, hand-sized figure with intricate features and a unique haircut. Eva smiled as she recognised herself in his work.

“This is lovely but… why would you make this?”

“Well, I was wandering through the market earlier and noticed one of the stalls was full of these little idols. Every notable figure from history immortalised in these beautiful wooden painted carvings. I held a figurine of Andraste in my hand and as I admired the beauty of the work, I realised its importance… People need to feel close to their idols. They need to feel as if they are being watched and guided by the people they revere so that they know they are doing the right thing. In that moment I realised that you are one of these people for me. And undoubtedly to so many others.”

Thom met her eyes and surprised her with the intensity behind his words. 

“You have seen crowds gather in your name. Heard them chant for you. They believe in you. As I do, as we all do. We do not follow you blindly, Eva. Perhaps this carving can serve as a reminder of that.”

This time the tears that welled in her eyes felt warm and reassuring.

“Thank you.”

Her fingers tightened around the gift. His words filled her with confidence that she had not felt in a while. She drew in another deep breath.

“I suppose it’s time isn’t it.”


End file.
